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Of String Bikinis and Christmases Past

13 Apr

Have you ever had one of those moments when what you thought would happen, wished would happen, didn’t? Like that time at Christmas long ago when you so wanted a new bike or that record player. Instead all you got was a box of crayons, or even worse, clothes!

 

String Bikini Fantasy

String Bikini Fantasy

My most recent moment was a few days ago. S-S and a friend I’ll call Super-D were shopping in a local market. They stopped and started handling string bikinis. Little itsy bitsy teenie weenie string bikinis. Heaven on earth.

My heart started pounding harder, and faster, and faster. Drool and sweat started to flow. I was starting to dehydrate.

 
Then with that sense that only wives have S-S, without even turning around, said,

“Cool it. We’re just admiring the hangers.”

Hangers??? Hangers!!! It was like that Christmas all those years ago. So high, then so low. Oh the humanity!

Happy New Year! Thank you for your patience. Your readership is Important to us.

7 Mar

 

Happy New Year! What, in March, you say? Shut the front door! Well, being the kind, considerate person I am, I have waited until all of you have awakened from your deep-freeze state of suspended animation to spread the joy. And it’s been a long, long time since my last post. I’ve been busy, on my website.

 

I have been nowhere near the frigid, ice-age weather of Gimli. Since I don’t drink – alcohol, that is – I don’t have the anti-freeze solution that others liberally use, especially at this time of year. Took a trip to Cabo instead over Christmas and New Years. Below is link for a video I took of part of the New Year’s fireworks on the beach. Enjoy. Add some colour to your life.

 

I look forward to the ice being off Lake Winnipeg, maybe in May, or June, or ……

New Year’s Fireworks

 

Winter Has Finally Arrived

17 Nov
Snow and grey lake, November 17, 2013

Snow and grey lake, November 17, 2013

Driveway and snow, November 17, 2013

Driveway and snow, November 17, 2013

Rant time! At the risk of sounding repetitive winter has shown its face early again. Although not as early as last year – that was October 5th – it’s still early. Now don’t quibble those of you who live in the balmier, semi-tropical climes of southern Ontario or BC. This is early! Winter is not supposed to arrive until December 21, four days before Christmas, and is supposed to exit March 21, on the dot! Instead we have something that generally lasts from October to May, in a good year. Quit whining you may say. You live in Manitoba for crying out loud! Well it’s my blog and I am a winter weenie. There, I’ve said it, confessed, admitted it. I am a winter weenie. Cold and snow are no longer fun. Brute is snug in his shed, hibernating, probably dreaming of new adventures in mowing next spring, with a new spark plug, of course. Me, I have to deal with frozen boogers.

Where I'd like to  be right now

Where I’d like to be right now

Gone are the days of skiing, ice-fishing, snowshoeing and the like. What was I thinking? Now I watch the Northern Lights from  inside the house since they only appear when its -20° C before the windchill.  Darkness, pitch black, comes at 5:00 pm. I have come to the realization I like sun, warmth, blue skies, palm trees, golden  sunsets. Mexico is looking better all the time. Primal scream alert! Aaaaaaaarrrrggh!!!

There, I almost feel better. Pass the Tequila.

——-

Canadian Snowbird Song

“SNOW IS A FOUR LETTER WORD”

Of Snow Fences and Sore Thumbs

29 Oct
Hammer Meets Thumb

Hammer Meets Thumb

Ah, the joy of preparing for winter, the snow, the storms, the -40°C temperatures, sunset at 4:00 pm. I so look forward to it all. Yeah right! Mexico here we come, some time in the distant future. So distant future. Sooo long in the future.

But stuff has to be done in the meantime. Brute has to hibernate for the winter. The garden has to be turned over. The well-head covered. Leaves raked for ground cover over water lines. Along with the leaves comes the snow fence.

This year the snow fence is a true work of art. Straight, tall, an orange splash of colour to catch the inevitable drifts to insulate the ground. All the tools that are required are orange plastic snow fence, steel posts, plastic ties, step stool or ladder, miniature sledge hammer, and the motivation to just get up and do it. Fortunately I have the last in abundance. She’s my motivational speaker, S-S. The sequence usually runs something like this: “When are you going to do the snowfence?”, to “Are you going to do the snowfence?”, to “Do the snowfence!” My pleas that it is too cold, that I have a cold, that I am too old don’t seem to work. So the work gets done. Two steps up on the ladder I get vertigo; my vision goes blurry, hammer hits my thumb. S-S turns a deaf ear to my pain. She calls it whining. “Just do it!”

The Snowfence and Me

The Snowfence and Me

The job gets done. I can stand proud before my winter masterpiece. Master of my domain. I knew all along that I could do it. I wallow in my virile accomplishment. S-S makes me a nice hot cup of cocoa with little marshmallows and kisses the boo-boo on my thumb. I tell her my arm and shoulder are sore. She says that I can go and have a nap. Life is good again.