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Some People Just Can’t Seem To Take A Compliment

17 Jan

 

Sometimes no matter how hard I try I can’t get people to appreciate my generosity, my admiration for the results of their hard work.

Recently S-S and I with friends had the unpleasure of having to renovate a condo that tenants had basically trashed after living there for nine years. Big ugh factor. We essentially spent the entire Christmas and New Years period doing major – and I mean MAJOR – cleaning painting and flooring. Big time Ack on this stuff! Not my favourite activity! No way, especially at Christmas. ‘Holmes on Holmes’ can keep this non-delight to himself and his minions,

Anyway, S-S was doing a major cleanup of the door knobs that were covered in tape and paint and some other disgusting grey stuff that was its own ecosystem. She was using Brasso and some liquid that would remove skin, warts and nasal hairs. The results were fantastic. The door knobs glowed a soft pewter-brass, like sun through a light mist on a summer’s day. I was so impressed with the excellent result. But had breathed in too many paint fumes. I merely said,

“That’s fantastic! You’re the Queen of the Knobs!”

offwith his headThe look I got was one of “Off with his head!” or some body part lower down.

I tell ya, some people just can’t seem to take a compliment.

 

Of String Bikinis and Christmases Past

13 Apr

Have you ever had one of those moments when what you thought would happen, wished would happen, didn’t? Like that time at Christmas long ago when you so wanted a new bike or that record player. Instead all you got was a box of crayons, or even worse, clothes!

 

String Bikini Fantasy

String Bikini Fantasy

My most recent moment was a few days ago. S-S and a friend I’ll call Super-D were shopping in a local market. They stopped and started handling string bikinis. Little itsy bitsy teenie weenie string bikinis. Heaven on earth.

My heart started pounding harder, and faster, and faster. Drool and sweat started to flow. I was starting to dehydrate.

 
Then with that sense that only wives have S-S, without even turning around, said,

“Cool it. We’re just admiring the hangers.”

Hangers??? Hangers!!! It was like that Christmas all those years ago. So high, then so low. Oh the humanity!

Peacocks In The Cemetery

6 Aug

Life is strange sometimes. When you think you are saying or explaining something simple about something unusual you receive a response that shows that people seem to come from different universes.

Peacocks, Peacocks, Peacocks

Peacocks, Peacocks, Peacocks

Sometime ago S-S and I were touring the East Interlake area in our car. We had visited Arborg, Riverton, Hecla and places in between. One of our stops was in Hnausa (pronounced nazer). As we drove by the local cemetery we did a double take. There on the gravestones and sepulchres was a muster or ostentation of peacocks. Bet you didn’t know that’s what a group of peacocks is called, didya? Males and females just strutting around.

How did they get there? Why were they there? There was no one around to ask. But there they were. Anyway, on our return home we mentioned  this unexpected sighting to some friends. Guess what the only question was:

What were you doing in a cemetery?

Ho hum. So much for sharing the surprises in life.

Aw, Nuts! I Gotta Masticate.

22 Aug

NutsWent to the Doctor in the big city today. She said I had a small case of Diverticulosis. Nothing major, no symptoms apparent, more age related. “What do I do about it,” I asked?

The Doctor said something like this: “No raw broccoli or cauliflower and watch out for seeds and nuts in your diet.”

I heard: “Steam  the broccoli and cauliflower and really chew seeds and nuts well.”

S-S heard: “Ya gotta put your nuts in a grinder.”

Ouch! End of conversation.

New Header Pic For Your Favourite Blog!

10 Aug
Dressed for whatever Nature can throw at Me

Dressed for whatever Nature can throw at Me

Rejoice! Two things. Firstly, the fishflies are gone, enough said there. Secondly, on the advice of my financial and business consultant S-S and the the whining of Brute for more on-screen-time on the blog I have created a new blog header. S-S turned paparazza on me and snapped pics while I sweated on the driveway, capturing a picture of me and Brute (he never will get first billing!) at work. In the header pic it’s hard to tell whether I am pushing or following Brute. It’s an ongoing battle as to who is the boss. A titanic clash of wills.

I know I have a pic of S-S behind Brute somewhere. She was smiling so I am not quite sure as to what their relationship actually is. Luckily I am not paranoid. Anyway she told me not to use it, or else. But who knows, it might find its way onto the site accidentally. Caught between a loving prima femina and a conflicted primus res (finally I get to use some high school Latin.) life is not easy here in the wilderness some 45 minutes north of Winnipeg.

The attached pic here is me in all my fashionable glory with fishfly and cobweb carcasses and debris hanging off me. The camo duct tape on the hat is a particularly elegant touch. If you think I am using the site to milk sympathy by trying to add class to this rugged life, you are right. And the pioneers thought they had it tough! I mean life is brutal. Until recently we only had dial up, we still can’t get Netflix and gas is $1.36 a litre!

‘Tis the Season for Spirtles and Quesedilla Makers: Merry Christmas To All

30 Dec
The Spirtle

The Spirtle

The Qesedilla Maker

The Qesedilla Maker

Santa Claus sometimes has a few surprises under the tree. The first was a spirtle, a maple-wood stirring device from Scotland. Good for oatmeal on a cold and frosty morning. For those who have never had one before get one. It is handy for stirring all kinds of things you don’t want burning on the stove. It also makes a great conversation piece at family get-togethers.

The other gift was a quesedilla-maker. I did not know such a thing even existed. It makes great snacks, even meals easily. Quesedillas are some of my wife’s favourite food so it will be well used.

We Survived the Mayan Apocalypse! What comes Next?

22 Dec

Well we are all still here. What was the fuss about? Somebody must have made a lot of money out of all the hoopla. The Mayans didn’t seem to be too concerned, in fact they celebrated the event. Not even a decent meteor shower or super nova or wandering asteroid. We survived Y2K, the new millenium, and now this. What will come next? Enquiring minds want to know. Give it a year or less. Somebody will cook up something.

Oh CristmasTree, Oh Christmas Tree

Oh CristmasTree, Oh Christmas Tree

Now we can focus on the really important things in life, like Christmas. Actually the gifts have been bought. I wish I could claim credit for all the purchases but I am usually dragged along like a reluctant puppy by the super-shopper (S-S) of the family who will remain nameless. So far we have been shopping in Ajijic, Guadalajara, Toronto, Winnipeg and Gimli. S-S likes to spread the wealth around and keep the world economy humming. I just pout a lot since I have so many other things to do such as… and … and uhm …, and besides it’s cold outside. Ah well, she has made the house look great and there are presents under the tree, many presents, many many presents. This does not count the ones delivered and mailed. She makes sure my gift-bonanza is well taken care of. Kinda makes me feel like a kid again. Takes a special person to do that.

We will be hosting Christmas Eve this year. Should be a good crowd. The driveway is plowed so there is lots of parking space. Two of our children at home will be here for Christmas so that will make the time special. Our other children and grandchildren  are scattered across the country. What with the weather and the nutty airline travel pressures at this time of year I prefer they stay safe and sane. We will still miss them. S-S gets especially sentimental at this time of year. But then she gets especially sentimental on New Years, Easter, birthdays, Victoria Day, Canada Day, Labour Day, Thanksgiving and just about any other day. I think we will be making a few road trips this spring and summer to visit one and all.

Snow and Hoar-Frost in the Garden

Snow and Hoar-Frost in the Garden

Although the weather has been clouded over most of the time the trees have been covered in hoar-frost. Very picturesque. It’s like being in a Christmas card scene. Very nice to have for the Christmas season. Last year it was a green Christmas. If one has to have a green Christmas I would like to have palm trees, golden sands and blue waters in the picture.