Why Don’t We Get Drunk and …

27 Jan

A friend from Palm Springs recently visited. Palm Springs, ah yes. More cringeworthy memories to share.


The scene:  the early 2000s; a restaurant in downtown Palm Springs; participants in addition to self,  S-S, mother-in-law (ML) and father-in-law (FL).


It's 5 o'clock somewhere

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

S-S and I were enjoying the warmth and entertainment of Palm Springs’ downtown. We are in a restaurant with the in-laws. A singer is  taking requests for songs. S-S and I are on one side of the table, in-laws facing us on the other. Playing the big shot I stroll up to the singer, pay him a whole $1 (US) and ask him to play something by Jimmy Buffet. I love Jimmy Buffet!


I swagger back to the table showing the in-laws how cool and sophisticated I am. I’m expecting “Margaritaville” or “Changes in Latitudes”. ML smiles at me. SL smiles at me. S-S smiles at me. Then, so that you could hear him in San Diego, the singer bellows out Jimmy B’s “Why Don’t We Get Drunk And Screw?” ML shudders big time, flickering eyes avoiding contact with S-S and me and looking to heaven to escape. FL hrmphs and grmphs, wishing he  was kicking tires in the Mercedes sales lot. But S-S gives me the eye; you guys know, THE eye. Ouch! Fear! Big moment gone. On the way home the deadly silence that screams.


Big lecture from S-S that night. Maybe I should have paid the singer $2 (US).


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